Syrupy
by Blue Kitty666
Summary: When Josuke is give the task of chaperoning Jimmy Hopkins, he embarks on a journey to his most regretful day ever. Josuke x Will Smith, Jimmy x Justin.


_**A/N: Yay! I wrote 2k words this time! This story takes place in Islamabad,Pakistan XD You can search up the places mentioned to get a clear idea :)**_

It was the middle of the scorching heat when Josuke Posuke got a call from James Shopkins' mother. Answering this call was something Hosuke would definitely refer to it as a Nosuke, but he accepted the offer anyway, as money was involved.  
The conversation went on something like this:  
"Oh hi! Jimmathy Reppuken's mommy."  
"Hello Posuke Losuke Tosuke. Did I mention that I'm in love with- oh wait. I mean did I mention that your hair is splendid every day."  
"Spit it out."  
"Okay.. I need you to chaperon my James Smutkins. He's going to F9 park tomorrow with his date and... Well.. I also have a date with this guy."  
"Ms. Smipukens! You told me you were married-"  
"There's money involved!"  
"How much?"  
"It's negotiable. Depending on how you do it. 2000Rs per hour."  
"You have yourself a deal! Timings?"  
"9am till 6pm. You can quit anytime starting from 1pm."  
"What?! Okay I'll do it."  
Josuke sighed after he had realised what he had got himself into. He let out a little, 'Yare yare', like one of his henchman, Jotaro Padoodle would yodel. Suddenly, out of the purple, came another phone call, and Mosuke Josuke Josuke Josuke also regretted forgetting the call's contents before the caller had called but it was just a call yet the caller called about something which he forgot while he answered the previous caller's call which was a huge mistake made by this poor little Josukie. This conversation went on something like this:  
"Yea hello?"  
"Yo mah man, I knew you were gonna say that! Anyway I know what you're gonna say next. What?"  
"What?!"  
"Dude, definitely gotcha man! I know what you're going to say next now!"  
"Just flipping flip flops get to the flipping point!"  
"Yeaaa, bro! I knew it. I know what you're gonna say next again!"  
"Oh my Gogo, I'm one centimetre from hanging up. Seriously dude cut it out!"  
"Okay okay! Do you remember that the Jojobas are going to Burger King in Centaurus?"  
"...N-Yeah.. Of course! Ha! Why would I forget?"  
"Ok good, bye!"

Xosuke slammed the phone and was currently losing his shit. Peer pressure was rising within this Vosuke Volcano, at its peak eruption. He let out the shrillest screech in the world, worse than any Roblox death noise earrape. He wanted to go out with his henchmen to Burger King foot lettuce, but also wanted 20,000Rs. After a second of this peer pressure, he decided money was always the answer.  
Hence this was the part of Uosuke's life which he regretted most. Why? You'll find out, just read on, come on now. Don't have second thoughts.  
So tomorrow, which was a Saturday, came and Wosuke woke up at six in the morning. He screamed– a normal thing for him actually– and lunged out of bed like a mosquito. Did I mention that I'm in love- that he lives alone? How depressing. Tosuke started to text his online friend he met on Tinder, Johnny Vincent. Their conversation went something like this:  
"Hi hru, Jny?"  
"I'm fine u?"  
"Fine just have a chaperon job today -_-.."  
"U and chaperoning kid? No way!"  
"Ikr! Makes me feel like dancing to Macarena 4ever."  
"Kid ain't u gonna dance to no Macarena!"  
"Duck u 2. Hve a nd."  
"Lol!"

Josuke made himself some eggs and became a scrambled Eggsuke. He ate it with some toast and changed his clothes—cue the Bakugan music—and went in his white Corolla. Since he lived in F-8/1, it was easy to drive to the park, but he still flipped on his own custom mixtape, "My own custom mixtape". The first song that came on was Fresh Prince of Bel Air. And boy, did Bosuke pump that till it was at max volume. Whenever he would listen to this he would become the–self proclaimed–Prince of Bel Air.

He reached the entrance and as he got out of his slick–in my opinion, ugly–Corolla, he received a call from the oh-so-innocent Jonathan Vince- I mean Jonathan Joester. As he saw it, he became a superliciously surprised Sosuke and screeched out, 'Fosuke!' The talk went like this:  
"Greetings Josuke. Are you joining us in our expedition to the large, enclosed shopping area to which people refer to as a mythical creature with the arms, head and torso of a man and the body and legs of a horse, commonly called a centaur, combined with the second astrological sign, which starts at April 21st, often called Taurus represented by a bull, yet the citizens call it Centaurus? If so, then I am terribly disappointed and crestfallen, my dear comrade."

Before Bosuke could answer, it seemed Jonathan's phone ran out of credit, as usual. So Uosuke Sosuke Aosuke just shrugged it off and walked towards the park. Josuke Oosuke Sosuke Uosuke Kosuke Eosuke then remembered that Jim&ms mother, didn't tell him where Yimmj was. Henceforth, Ekusoj took out his flip-phone out of his butt pocket and opened it as if it were a switchblade like in the Outsiders, or just Fonzie's comb. He dialled her number and she answered considerably quickly. This conversation went like this:  
"Hi PLT, short for Precious Little- I mean Posuke Losuke Tosuke."  
"Uh-huh, yes. I wanted to ask you where Yimmj Snikpoh is..."  
"And?"  
"Where art he?"  
"He hath fallen.. I mean he's at that walking place with no rides."  
"Okay thanks..! I'm ready there anyway. Bye!"  
He hung up and stared at the sky like in those anime—Oh wait. Qwertysuke hummed FPoBA's theme and tried to spot Jams. Soon he found him, but with someone he didn't expect...

Mojojosuke eyes widened at the sight of the man who stood before James Chipuken. He was ugly. His face twisted in ways you couldn't imagine. A thin strand of his hair was laying from his forehead to his ear, like it was sleeping. This teenage delinquent-like character shouldn't he hanging around—worse, dating Jimmy Banjo, thought Tosuke. He stood a good foot and a half taller than this Jimmworth Academy.  
Suddenly, it dawned on Angrysuke that this was none other than Justin Vandervelde, who was in 's class back in fourth grade. Justin, aside from being ugly, was a big bully. Justin made Josuke go from Josuke to freaking Nosuke! He made Bosuke's blood boil till it was as hot as when he would become a volcano Vosuke. Thinking about elementary school made Nosuke think about kindergarten. He remembered one of his kindergarten memories like it was yesterday.

Flashback!:  
"What should we do? He's not learning his ABC's.." Said Mama Josuke to Daddy Josuke,  
"Maybe we should teach him like this!" Daddy Josuke said, "It'll go like this." He continued,  
"Aosuke. Bosuke. Cosuke. Dosuke. Eosuke. Fosuke. Gosuke. Hosuke. Iosuke. Josuke. Kosuke. Losuke. Mosuke. Nosuke. Oosuke. Posuke. Qosuke. Rosuke. Sosuke. Tosuke. Uosuke. Vosuke. Wosuke. Xosuke. Yosuke and Zosuke!" Daddy Josuke exclaimed happily. Baby Josuke giggled and repeated. Then the parents kept chanting it like a devil summoning.  
End of flashback!

After thinking about it for a second, he realised that that was probably the scariest and most-twisted thing that has ever happened to him. Ever. He shook his head and went back to spying.

He casually walked behind them, maintaining a safe distance, yet also eavesdropping. Jimmy Neutron held out his hand for Justin Vagina to hold. As he saw Justin smile and laugh like a chicken and dog had a kitten, he felt a vomiting sensation, referencing to one of his slaves, Jotaro the Peach or Jotaro sono Momoko. Breakdownsuke cleared his throat lowly and continued walking behind the shiny Popkins and Mustn't. He overheard their conversation,  
"Man that guy behind us sure has weird hair!" Justin Russo giggled like a maggot. When Crazy Noisy Bizarre Townsuke heard this he finally erupted. This was the final showdown-er straw. First of all, the guy James Jimmothy Straits Shopkins is with is his childhood bully. Second of all they called his hair weird, WEIRD. Third of all, he looks good in this shirt. So tell me he doesn't look good in this shirt.

Fresh Prince of Bel Airsuke fabulously backflipped and did an ollie—with no skateboard, in your face Phoney Hawks!—into outer space. When he landed, he was on Jupiter. Josuke levitated around, shooting layers from his fingers onto the alien race, which was currently trying to kill him. A neon green and purple beam was shot at 666suke and he was quick to dodge; performing an elegant backflip for all the spectators. This is what Wosuke would do when he got really mad. He would kill Jupiter's inhabitants or the Martians as a stress reliever. He cooled down significantly, before backflipping and doing an 840 ollie back to Earth.  
He sighed in relief, for he was cooled down and no one noticed his awesome stunts. 69suke realised that the two had went somewhere else. He half-ran, half-walked to find them. Soon he did, and the sight see saw still makes his stomach sick to this day. There was Jamie and Must-go-in touching each other in all the wrong places, their tongues having a war, and Boxsuke called for Dio (not Dio Brando! Dio, Spanish for god). Yet there was no answer, so ¿¡suke broke them apart and announced that he is their chaperone and they shouldn't do something ever so disgusting. Jimmy Neutron made a face like ':(' and Jasmine followed suite.  
Now Asdfsuke was pissed, he could be enjoying a burger with his slaves, yet here he is, chaperoning two morons. Iron Josuke looked at his watch and it was only eleven, he wanted to leave but 6000Rs was not worth it, at all. For seeing such a scaring sight. He admitted that he had been watching them for a while. And Jimmathon Jimstar knew that it was his mommy's doing. So Josuke watched them in the park till it was 4:50pm, and they did nothing disgusting again.

But they did at about 5:30pm. Josuke gave them a ride to McDonald's, for early dinner. Seemed ordinary thought Josuke at first. As they reached, they sat on the table nearest to the restrooms and made their orders. McJosuke ordered sixteen nugget bitches, a Big Mac, fries and coke. Jimmathony ordered fries and coke. Just men ordered a burger other than Big Mac and some other stuff. Jims went to the bathroom with Just Monika and for a few minutes Josuke was just waiting for the food. He decided to go to convert to a and wash his cute hands. In the bathroom he heard some weird noises and Just-in and Jam bottle seemed to be in the stalls. But someone else came out of one of the stalls and said in an Italian accent,  
"Mama Mia! In the other stall those two are..." He spoke to Wosuke didn't quite understand. The blonde-haired Italian walked out, giving Wosuke a Weegee face (Josuke didn't turn into Weegee at least). Wosuke still heard the strange sounds and was getting too curious for his own good, he opened the stall they both were in—which was open—and saw something which he couldn't erase from his mind. They were getting it on and Wosuke walked into it. He couldn't hold it in anymore, he did levitated to outer space, went to Neptune—haha, NASA— and screamed at the top of his lungs. The Neptunians all stared at him in confusion and Josuke took out his homemade gun, JoJo-666; a mixture of a machine gun, shotgun, pistol, laser gun, basically every single gun in the world, made by him. And then he shot ten or twenty of them before performing the most epic one million ollie back to McDonalds he saw his food on the table and sucked it in like he was Kirbysuke. And moonwalked out of there singing 'HEYAY YAYEAHHEY' so he could tell his future generations about this story and say at the end of the story, 'And I said HEYAYYAYEAHHEY'.  
Josuke left when he had to, at 6pm. Job completed, eyes scarred, brain cells lost. He knew this was the worst day of his life, ever.

 _So that's how the worst day of his life happened. He was chaperoning a guy whose mom was a good friend of Scarredsuke, and his elementary school bully, when he could have been hanging with his servants at the mall. At least he got 20,000Rs from that experience.  
What did he spend it on, you ask? A visit to a strip club called, 'Annachi Chalagah', a very strange name. In which he paid 5000Rs to watch Dio pole dancing, which he referred to as epic.(Search up "MMD Dio Poledancing" on Youtube._ _)_ _The rest of the 15,000Rs he spent on a leather jacket, hair gel, shampoo and lingerie._

 _I guess he was satisfied?_

 _ **A/N: Special thanks to my anonymous reviewer, Josuke, for getting me motivated to write this fic :D Have a great day/night/afternoon/evening!  
If you want to see Cesar with the weegee face, just PM me. I'll send you the pic I made XD**_


End file.
